Hey Fat Ass

I’m Stumped…

smizzi428 — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:55:37 +0000

OK, I’m bizarre – I admit it. Today I was thinking about what to write here, so I just googled weight loss. And one site had a page about unintentional weight loss. Now I know what your thinking, “Unintentional? What the heck are you talking about?” So please read on. My comments are in green:

Weight loss – unintentional

Definition:

Unintentional weight loss is a decrease in body weight that is not voluntary. Really? Good definition Webster!

Weight loss will occur with decreased food intake, increased metabolism, or both. See also intentional weight loss.
Alternative Names:
Loss of weight AKA – slimmin down? Good bye fat ass?

Considerations:

There are many causes of unintentional weight loss including endocrine, gastrointestinal, neurological, psychiatric, and eating disorders (see anorexia nervosa), as well as nutritional deficiencies, infections, and tumors. OK, all sound bad, but logical.
Common Causes:

Conditions that prevent food consumption such as painful mouth sores, newly applied orthodontic appliances, or loss of teeth YIKES!
Manipulative behavior (in children) WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN? Kids scamming so they don’t have to eat thier brocoli?
Unrealistic expectations of caretakers (with children) ?!?!?! I’m stumped!
Depression Reasonable
Malnutrition Understandable
Loss of appetite
Prescribed or over-the-counter drugs (including amphetamines, chemotherapeutic agents, laxative abuse, and thyroid medications) Gotcha
Drug abuse and smoking Check
Unrecognized intentional weight loss Really?! Unrecognized INTENTIONAL weight loss? Isn’t that an oxymoron? If its intentional then you would be able to recognize it? WTF?!
Undiagnosed anorexia nervosa or bulimia
AIDS
Malignancy
Acute infection
Chronic infections such as tuberculosis
Parasitic infections (particularly if you are from or have recently traveled to another country) They don’t specify countries just ANOTHER country – all scary and vague. Perhaps call out a few, or state countries with poor water treatment, or in the 3rd World ranking? Maybe just call them out – Mexico? Honduras? Nope, if you travel to another country – YOU”RE GETTING A PARASITE! Hello France = Hello Parasite?!
Chronic diarrhea Now if you ask me, Chronic Diarrhea isn’t so much a cause of weight loss, as it is a scary symptom that your ass is going to fall off. But that’s just me. Diarrhea, bad. Chronic diarrhea, run to your doctor.
Hyperthyroidism

OK, well I don’t know if I really have a point in sharing this, except that I was really shocked by 2 of the symptoms. Well not shocked, but rather stupefied:

Manipulative behavior (in children)
Unrealistic expectations of caretakers (with children)

I really do not understand what point this website is trying to convey with those two. Well I’m at a loss. Do you have any ideas? Maybe its because I do not have kids? Please help enlighten me.

And as always………..keep up the manipulative behavior and unrealistic expectations of caretakers (but only those with kids) till you stop jiggling!

And just so you don’t think I’m making this up: click here

I Was Duped!

smizzi428 — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:35:06 +0000

Every day I get a newsletter email from Women’s Health Magazine. I usually only click on the link for that day’s contest, in a vain hope that I will one day win something! But alas I never do. Annnnyway, the headlining article in the newsletter was: Eat to Beat Stress. I was thinking, “Hey, this is right up my alley!” So I clicked on it (and so can you HERE) and BOOOO. It was about all these healthy foods – Pistachios, Skim Milk, Oranges – to eat when your stress. Let me ask you, when YOUR stressed do you want to eat an orange and wash it down with a nice glass of skim milk! I think NOT! I like to eat things like nachos, vodka tonics (I know that’s not food, but it does really help relieve stress!), jalapeno poppers! I’m more of a spicy, cheesy, salty comfort food gal. I know people who automatically go for sweets – ice cream, chocolate, and pina coladas (again, i know its not food!). What about you? What do you eat when your stressed?

Today, like every Friday, is Fat Ass Friday. So if you are participating in our Biggest Loser Challenge, please send in your weekly weigh in!

And as always………………………………………………Keep jogging till you stop jiggling!………………..

Nachos for Dinner = Highway to Hell(acious Thighs)

smizzi428 — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:29:44 +0000

When we last spoke, I was crying about the workout that I had completed over the weekend. It was crazy hard. Then I got to spend almost a full glorious week with no work and great friends in town. But great friends and no work usually equals no working out and nachos for dinner. Well I did have nachos for dinner (maybe on more than one occasion) I did work out once. I dragged my girlfriend to come back with me to boot-camp. And I have to say she KICKED ass because this time was even harder than the first – and I’m not kidding. I can not remember all of the stops on the Killer Circuit Train, but I remember one was 200 sit-ups, 74 push ups (even doing the girly kind – that’s killer), and something like 75 leg lifts, where as last week we only had to do 10! UGH — it was terrible. But we were champs and hung in there. So needless to say that with just one (even a killer one at that) and eating nachos for dinner, the scale was not my friend. I fluctuated from 140 to upwards of 145. So on Tuesday I had to say good-bye to my friends, and hello routine again. I worked out on Tuesday, brought my lunch to work, and made a chicken tortilla dinner, and this morning’s weigh in was a respectable 142.4. Not back down to 140, but respectable.

Well since we are a weight loss blog here and we like to give hoots and hollas to those who do good, I’d like to share. I don’t watch The View, but I read on the gossip grape vine, that a Miss Sherri Shepard dropped down to a size 6. I thought, this can’t be. She beat me (neither she nor I knew we were in competition!). But I have to say, in the first picture she looks good, but I didn’t think a size 6 good. And then in the second picture you can see that your chi-chis are still GINORMOUS, but she is tiny on the bottom.

P.S. – Since blogging isn’t my full time job, and my actual full time job is getting hectic, I am blogging from home after work. So I hope this greets you in the AM and you have a wonderful day! And sorry if the posts become even more sporadic then they are.

And as always……………..keep jogging till you stop jiggling……

Is it Masochist or Sadomasochist…?

smizzi428 — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:42:00 +0000

Howdy y’all! How was your weekend? Anything fun and exciting? I finally tried that bootcamp class! And it KICKED my ass. I mean utterly and completely. The warm up was jumping jacks, and I said to myself, “I can do this!” Then I looked in the GIANT wall to wall mirror and thought, “Man, it is not a pretty site to watch yourself do jumping jacks!” HAHA. Not in the slightest. Then we did these mountain climber things, and I was tired! And the “workout” did not even begin. The actual workout was a circuit style loop of a BUNCH of smaller moves. Here is what you had to do after the warm-up:

1. One-minute sprint on the treadmill

2. 25 sit ups (where I was yelled at for doing crunches and not complete sit-ups)

3. One-minute sprint on the treadmill set on 10 for the elevation

4. 15 standing bench presses with HEAVY weights (at least 20 – 25 on each side because there were guys in the class too)

5. 15 things where you had to put your hands on this half balancer thing, jump back to plank position, jump back, stand up with it over your head. TOUGH

6. 15 leg curls on the balance ball

7. 30 chair dips

8. 4 sets up and down the stairs with 2 25lb weights

9. 200 reps with the jump rope outside

10. 25 kettle ball swings

11. 10 reps each leg stepping up on a platform

12. 25 jumping pull ups

13. 4 sets of sprints with a medicine ball above your head

14. Bear crawl to the next room (I don’t think this was actually for workout purposes, just to make you feel silly!)

16. 25 push ups

So they start everyone staggered and I was one of the last few to start. I was so nervous that I would be tired and have the whole class be waiting for me to finish, so I skimped on some of the exercises. I finally get to the push up station, thinking – Thank God. I am done, and the whole class isn’t waiting for me! w00t w00t! But then I see, OOOOOOh no you are NOT finished. It has only been a half hour and you have to do the circuit AGAIN! It was actually easier the second time around. I was tired and sore already, but I knew I could do each one, and that the whole class wasn’t going to be waiting on me. So I completed the full hour and felt good and tired and then went to relax at the pool. Then I woke up Sunday, and I thought I was going to DIE! I looked like a mummy walking around. And today I am still uber sore. I can’t believe that I paid someone to make me do this to myself! And I am going to go again! Such a masochist (or is it sadomasochist?) But I got a great routine, that I am *going* to do at home, and then go get my butt kicked next Saturday! If you want more details on some of the exercises, let me know. I think its a great little routine that you can definitely do at home!

MamaMia we have a winner…

smizzi428 — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:50:47 +0000

MommaMia is our winner for last week with a 1% drop! GREAT JOB. Keep up the hard work! YEAH MOMMAMIA!!!

And lets send all our good mojo to all our other contestants!! Side note: I am not going to bug our contestants with emails any more. We have a weigh in on Fridays. I’ll post a reminder here, so if you want to send in your new weight – then please do! If you don’t then I won’t bug you with an email (unless you tell me otherwise)!

So I’m pretty sure I have hit the awesome-ness that is the weight loss plateau. I hit my second mini goal weight of 140 recently, but since then I have bounced around from 140 – 142. So you know what that means — I’m kicking it up a notch. I really wanted to try this boot-camp in my neighborhood. They have drop in classes on Saturdays and its free the first time you go and then after that only $5. So I figured if I go there once a week, that will keep my motivated during the week to work out on my own. I was SO excited last Saturday. The class was at 10am, but I was up at 8am itching to go! So I venture over there — and they are CLOSED! No one is there and the doors are locked. So all dejected I go home and look at their website. Its seems I am retarded and the drop in classes were at another of their locations! Sooooo, I am SO excited to go this Saturday! hahaha. I am awesome. But in the mean time I have been biking to work. The ride there is cake, but the ride home is killer! The first time I tried it, there is about a 3 block uphill part that I didn’t make it up. I had to get off and walk my bike — as an old man cruised right by me no problem. Oh well.

Real close to my work is the Platte River Bike/Walk Path. I have ridden this one time, so I ventured out again today at lunch. I ended up going in the opposite direction, and I am so glad I did. I tried to calculate the exact mileage I did but the Internet has outsmarted me. But a guess-timate based on the signs on the path I went about 2.5 – 3 miles each way. I LOVE RIDING MY BIKE. If you want a cheap and fun (you totally feel like a kid again!) way to work out I definitely recommend going for a bike ride. And you can get a decent and cheap one off of craigslist!

And as always….ooh no…if biking becomes my new obsession…does this mean I’ll have to change my sign off? Keep pedaling till you stop…??? I’m at a lose.

Cloud Nine!

smizzi428 — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:22:56 +0000

How is everyone doing today? I haven’t heard from you guys in a while, but I hope all is well. I was putzing around yesterday on the inter-webs, and I came across a fun quiz (http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/100-calories-quiz?cm_mmc=Newsletter-_-2009_Jul_22-_-Dose-_-MainImageLink). It’s a quiz to see if you know what 100 calories looks like. Some I was spot on, and some I was totally off. So if you’re bored, check it out. It was good for me, because I am a terrible estimator – height, age, distance, all that good stuff. So it’s been a struggle for me knowing how to estimate portions – which is so important. I have a food scale (which has been uber helpful) but when I’m out to eat and don’t have my scale handy, it’s been tough. So this quiz helped give me a better idea. Also I got this Wallet Portion Control Guide from WebMD that has been very helpful as well. If I did my magic right, you should be able to download it from this post.

So why am I on Cloud 9 today?! I hit my second mini-weight-loss goal —- 140.0 this morning! Let’s see if I can hold on to it for more than a day!
And as always…………….keep jogging till you stop jiggling!!!!

UPDATE: I did not do ANY magic, so you can’t download from this post, but here is the link to the download site:

http://img.webmd.com/dtmcms/live/webmd/consumer_assets/site_images/media/pdf/diet/wallet-portion-control-guide.pdf

First Week’s Results

smizzi428 — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:54:14 +0000

I know all of you have been waiting for the results from the first weigh in!!! (Please try and contain your excitement!). We have gotten off to a great start. Our winner is……

Theresa! With a 5% drop! You go girl! Lets clap it up for Theresa. (golf clap) She at first didn’t want to participate, but I am so glad she has. She has a few more restrictions on what she can do diet/exercise wise, but she has done a great job!!!

Momma Mia had a little bit of a slow start, but she had a .2% gain. Lets send all our love and good mojo to Momma Mia to stay on track!

We have one final contestant (we will call her that until she either gives us a nickname for herself, or she says its OK to put her name out in cyberspace!) who has not been able to weigh in yet. I am sure she’s doing awesomely!!!! Let us know!

So if you’d like to join in on the fun, just let me know. I am so proud of all of you who have joined (or working on it by yourself) – keep up the great work! And everyone lets give it up for the Fat Ass’s Big Losers Winners!!! You are all winners in my book!

And as always………..keep jogging till you stop jiggling!!!

Calling all fat asses!

smizzi428 — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:41:46 +0000

All who are participating in the Biggest Loser Competition, please send me you first weigh in ASAP!!!

I’ll do the calculation, and announce our first weekly winner. Also one contestant opted for a code name, so if you’d like one too, please include that as well!!

MMMM…Cheesy Curly Fries….MMMM….

smizzi428 — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:08:26 +0000

Sorry I have been avoiding you. I really like you and I like hanging out with you, but I was embarrassed. That is no reason to ignore you, I know. I should have just come clean and be honest. So I will be honest now: I gorged myself this past weekend and went back up to 147! I KNOW! In just two days at an all day music festival I put on 5 lbs. I hope you can forgive me. But when I say gorge I mean GORGE! Here’s a small snippet of my menu: cheesy curly fries (with straight cheese whiz) at least twice, hot link, more fries, gyro, dumplings, and at least 5 lemon slushes! I had NO self control what-so-ever. But I shouldn’t project my anger at myself on to you, and I am sorry! I will not leave this site dormant like that again. I promise — you forgive me (as I bat my eyes coquettish-ly at you)?! Phew, thanks. You are one tough cookie, but thanks for understanding!

So like I said, I fell off the wagon this past weekend. On Monday, when I stepped on the scale and it said 147, I was disappointed, but not swayed from my goal (well I was for a bit, I indulged in some self-loathing, pinching my fat, but then moved on). I knew (hoped!) that a large portion of that would be because I felt stopped up (if you know what I mean). After eating healthy for so long, and then slamming your body with cheez whiz, I was not going with the flow so to speak. So that plus getting back to eating properly and walking so much to make up for it, I was hoping to be back right where I started in no time. It happened quicker than I thought. This morning was glorious – 141.4! I have a house guest staying with me, and he didn’t understand my exuberance this morning, but that’s OK. I was proud of myself that even though I fell off the wagon for 2 days, that I didn’t turn it into a week long bender! Or worse yet, give up completely.

So I hope that serves as inspiration to all you ladies who have joined us on the Biggest Loser Challenge! (You can STILL join the fun!!!) So far we only have a few ladies signed up, but I am soooo proud of those who did! It takes a lot to weigh yourself and email someone else those results! So kudos on the first step. We are almost at our first weigh in (this Friday) so let us know how you are doing! How you are feeling! All those good things! I am here for you to vent on, ask questions, or brag to! So please use me… tee hee

And as always…eat those cheesy fries…wait, I mean…keep jogging till you stop jiggling!

Calling all losers…

smizzi428 — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:04:20 +0000

OK, I think I’ve mentioned this once before, but I am going to start our very own Biggest Loser Contest! It’s going to work as follows:

1. Record your starting weight. (You can do all your measurements for your own knowledge, but all we need is your starting weight).

2. Then either post it in the comments section – if your feeling brave, or email me. I don’t want to post my email here, so if you don’t have it, post a comment and I can email you directly.

3. Then everyone will check in at the end of the week, and I will post the results. I won’t put people’s weight totals, I’ll just put pounds lost and percentage lost.

4. The winner will be based on percent of weight lost. That’s how they do it on the show, and I think that’s a fair way of doing it.

5. No one’s going to get kicked off or anything like that. But I’d like to see comments from everyone giving that week’s winner BIG UPS!

6. Everyone has until Friday July 17th at 9am MST to get me your stats to be included.

7. The first weigh in will be that next Friday, July 24th and then every Friday after that. (I don’t like weigh ins on Mondays because the weekend it usually when I cheat, and I think that’s the same for most people).

8. Everyone send me your new weight on that Friday by 9am, if you could. So I can post the winner that day!

9. I was thinking about setting an ending date of Friday, Sept 4th. Just before Labor Day – enough time to drop a few, and then enjoy it!

10. This is all on the honor system.

11. Everyone feel free to post questions and comments to each other. Ask questions, gripe about falling off the wagon, or gloating cause you lost that pound! Post a new recipe – WHATEVER. That’s what we are all here for.

Any questions, comments, or something I forgot, email me or post in the comments, and get me your stats by THIS FRIDAY!!! This is going to be soooo much fun. I’d like to have a prize for the winner. Any thoughts?

And as always…keep jogging till you stop jiggling!